Surrey Camhs

We all feel sad or angry or worried sometimes, so it is important to remember and do things that make you feel good.

Some things that you might like to do to feel happy are:

• singing
• playing games with friends or a sport like football
• playing with a pet

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There are lots of things that can happen that make us feel sad and sometimes we feel sad for no reason at all.

Sometimes when we feel sad, we remember other things and end up feeling even worse! At times, it can feel like things are never going to get better and you will feel sad forever, but things do change.

We can feel sad for lots of different reasons. Maybe you feel sad because:

• someone has said something that has hurt your feelings
• a pet has died
• a friend has told you they don’t want to be friends any more
• someone has treated you badly or hurt you
• someone you knew and loved has died

Usually people don’t feel sad for too long. Things feel better, friends or family cheer us up, or we do something that takes our mind off it, like drawing or playing football. Other ideas for feeling better when you are feeling sad are:

• talking to a friend
• watching a funny programme on TV
• doing some exercise

There are other times when none of these things seem to work and our sad feelings feel like they follow us around everywhere.

If you feel like that, it is really important to talk to someone in your family who you feel safe with or to someone who has a job helping children who are struggling with difficult feelings.

Sometimes it is also useful to talk to a doctor about these feelings. These people can all help you to feel better, and for life to feel okay again. Whatever you choose to do, and whoever you choose to speak to, remember that things will change.

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We all feel angry sometimes and it is ok to feel this way. Sometimes it can even be important to feel angry.

For example, if someone hurts you or treats you or someone you love unfairly, you have every right to feel angry about it. At times, that anger can help you to begin to do something about it.

You might feel angry because:

• you have to do something you don’t want to do
• you feel like something is unfair
• you feel ill and think you are missing out on fun stuff
• you are tired
• someone has hurt you or has been angry with you

Feeling angry is difficult and it is more than feeling cross or grumpy. It affects your whole body and some children say they feel like they are going to 'explode with crossness' when they are angry!

Knowing how to behave when you still feel angry is hard. Sometimes, you can make the wrong choices and behave in ways that hurt other people or get you in trouble if you are still angry.

The best thing to do is to try to calm down first. Talking about what made us angry in the first place is easier when you feel calm and it is a good thing to learn.

You might find these things useful when you feel angry:

• going for a walk or doing some sport
• reading a book
• holding your wrists under a tap of cold running water and closing your eyes for a while
• shouting into your pillow and then lying down for a bit

Sometimes you might need help to find ways to calm down. Often there are people in schools whose job is to help children to find ways of calming down.

It is good to ask for help. The quicker you can find help to calm down when you start to feel angry, the better. You'll be able to calm down by yourself and think clearly about what made you angry in the first place and then what to do about it.

To find ways of calming down you might ask for help from:

• someone in your family who you trust
• a member of staff (teacher or mentor) who you trust at school
• phone a helpline for children like Childline (0800 1111)

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No matter how big, small, young or old we are, we all feel worried or scared at some point.

Sometimes, it is right to feel worried or scared while at other times it can be because you were scared by something when you were younger or even by your imagination!

Although these might not be things we really need to worry about, it can be hard to remember that.

Maybe you worry about:

• going to a new school and making friends
• moving house
• someone hurting you
• bullying

Your imagination might have even convinced you to worry about things like the dark, thunderstorms or even monsters under the bed.

Lots of feelings come with being worried or scared. Feelings like wanting to run away, like you're frozen on the spot, having butterflies in your stomach or being short of breath.

If we feel worried or scared during the day we sometimes have nightmares at night which can make us worry even more.

But don't worry, dreams and nightmares are normal ways of getting rid of difficult feelings we have had during the day. Just remember that it's important to get help with feelings of being scared or worried if they carry on during the day and night.

To begin feeling happier, there are lots of things you can try:

• draw your worries on a piece of paper (sometimes it doesn’t look so scary when it is drawn)
• talk to someone in your family you know and trust about your worries or what you are scared of.
• talk to someone whose job is to help children find ways of feeling better, such as Childline on 0800 1111
• talk to someone at school about your worries
• keep a diary

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